Card house dreamer.

My world is falling apart.
I was a fool, I never saw it coming.
Oh no, no.My life is like a card house.
A delicate construction
With no regard for the wind.

- The shaky construction is never considered or thought twice about. Instead, blinded by the shiny promises

of a future covered with a high gloss sheen, we move our hearts into the card house, letting it take residence there. Outside elements aren't considered as it begins to fill to the brim with expectations, hopes, and plans that would take a life time to be lived. Only when one of the way quivers, and a card unexpectedly floats away, letting in patches of light and forgotten outside world do we pause, wondering if it truly is indestructable.

Everybody's changing.
Oh everybody's changing.
And I don't know how much more I can take.

I thought I had everything under control.
I couldn't have been more wrong.

I thought I held my world in my hands.
Until it broke and I awoke from this foolish dream.

- Humans are not incapable of change, we just avoid it like like a disease, knowing how bad the shaping and twisting of the clay, followed by the fire of the kiln will hurt worse than we think possible to endure. And what if the new, changed version of us, is not acceptable? What if it was all for nothing? No. This is not an option. For we, the clay, surely know better. For we are far better off as a half finished tea pot, with no spout, that MIGHT make a halfway decent bowl, than becoming the unknown. We strive for control, all the while knowing the tighter we hold, the more we will lose, and the more damage we will cause.

I put so much of myself in everything else.
Yeah in everything else.
It was a dream come seemingly true.
Torn at the seams revealing a nightmare.

I thought I had everything under control.
I couldn't have been more wrong.
I thought I held my world in my hands.
Until it broke my heart.
Everything I loved had changed.

- T.H. White once said, "Perhaps we give the best of our hearts uncritically, to those who hardly think of us in return." How easily as a society have we begun to willingly break our own hearts? I confess that I myself have a "go down with the sinking ship" attitude towards people and things I am truly committed to. But what kind of discretion and discernment do we use before making such kind of commitment? Are we moved by the voice of God in our relationships? You will only go as far in life as those you surround yourself with who believe in your dreams. It's as simple as that. Jesus set an incredible model for friendship - He had the masses, who followed Him, listening and talking. He had the 12 close friends, with whom He could talk life, live daily with, and love deeply. Then He had the 3 - His inner circle of sorts, His best friends with whom He could bare His heart with, and who believed in Him with a deep conviction.

Coffee and cigarettes can't save me.
No, it's a hope where there's no chance of a hope in the world.
And I'm hoping for it.

I thought I held my world in my hands.

Until it broke my heart.
Everything I loved was flawed.

-We, as Christians, must begin to long for sustenance, not substances. We must be filled with, satisfied with, and saturated on the Word of God, and fellowship with Him when we feel like our own shabbily constructed card house dreams are falling apart. We must lose our substance abuse pro

blems - which can take any shape or form. The substance we lean on, and go to for comfort instead of the Lord must become second to the sustenance which can repair us, and build a dream that is not our own, but better than anything we can come up with.